How to ask politely in Spanish: usted, podría and quisiera
In English, one word makes a request polite: “please”. Spanish has por favor, and people use it, but a receptionist who says Siéntese aquí y espere un momento (“Sit here and wait a moment”) has not left anything out. The sentence has no word for “please” and it sounds friendly. Spanish speakers make a request polite with the form of the verb, with a question, or with a softer way of saying “I would like”.
Speak to a stranger as usted
Spanish has two ways to say “you” to one person. Tú is for friends, family and people your age in a relaxed setting. Usted is for strangers and for people you want to show respect to. How far each one reaches depends on the country, and what usted means in Colombia and Spain describes two of those patterns.
When you speak to someone as usted, a plain command already sounds respectful. Siéntese and espere are the usted forms of “sit down” and “wait”, and a receptionist says them in a friendly tone. You hear these forms in shops, offices, hotels and taxis.
| Spanish | English | Where you hear it |
|---|---|---|
| Pase. | Come in. | A door, an office |
| Siéntese. | Sit down. | A waiting room |
| Espere un momento. | Wait a moment. | A counter, a phone call |
| Dígame. | Tell me. (How can I help?) | A shop assistant answering you |
| Perdone. / Disculpe. | Excuse me. | To get someone’s attention |
| Siga derecho. | Go straight ahead. | Directions in much of Latin America |
| Siga recto. | Go straight ahead. | Directions, common in Spain |
Spanish commands for tú, usted, vosotros, ustedes and vos has all the forms. Here you only need to know that an usted command is polite by itself.
Ask a question
Among friends, the most natural request is often a question in the present tense. ¿Me pasas la sal? means “Can you pass me the salt?” Word for word it asks “Do you pass me the salt?” Nobody hears it as a question about your habits. They pass the salt.
To a stranger or an older person, use the usted form of the verb: ¿Me pasa la sal? The question stays the same and only the verb ending changes.
| With a friend (tú) | With a stranger (usted) | English |
|---|---|---|
| ¿Me pasas la sal? | ¿Me pasa la sal? | Can you pass me the salt? |
| ¿Me das tu número? | ¿Me da su número? | Can you give me your number? |
| ¿Me ayudas con esto? | ¿Me ayuda con esto? | Can you help me with this? |
| ¿Puedes cerrar la ventana? | ¿Puede cerrar la ventana? | Can you close the window? |
You can also ask permission with ¿Puedo…?, which means “May I…?” ¿Puedo pasar? is “May I come in?” and ¿Puedo sentarme aquí? is “May I sit here?” To ask whether something bothers the other person, use importar: ¿Le importa si abro la ventana? means “Do you mind if I open the window?”
Make it more careful with podría
For a more careful request, use podrías, “could you”, with a friend, or podría with someone you call usted. ¿Podrías ayudarme? means “Could you help me?” and ¿Me podría decir la hora? means “Could you tell me the time?”
With podría you ask what the person could do instead of what they can do, which leaves them more room to say no. Use it when you ask for something that takes effort, when you speak to someone senior, or when you are not sure the person will want to help. For a quick favour, the present tense is more natural and sounds less stiff.
Say what you would like with quisiera
When you ask for something in a shop, a hotel or a restaurant, quisiera, “I would like”, is polite on its own. Quisiera una mesa para dos means “I would like a table for two”. Quisiera cambiar la habitación means “I would like to change the room”.
Speakers in Spain also use quería, the imperfect, in shops: Quería una barra de pan is a normal way to ask for a loaf of bread. Word for word it says “I wanted a loaf of bread”. Speakers use the past tense here to soften the request.
Quiero, “I want”, is understood everywhere. It sounds blunt to many speakers when you say it to someone serving you, in the way “I want a table for two” does in English. If you only remember one swap, replace quiero with quisiera or me gustaría.
Ordering at a counter
Each country has its own usual way to ask for something at a counter.
| Spanish | Word for word | Where speakers say it |
|---|---|---|
| ¿Me pones un café? | Will you put me a coffee? | Spain, with the tú form to the person behind a bar |
| Ponme un café. | Put me a coffee. | Spain, as a command |
| ¿Me da un café? | Will you give me a coffee? | Spain, Mexico, Colombia and other countries, with the usted form |
| ¿Me regala un café? | Will you gift me a coffee? | Colombia, and in parts of Mexico |
In a bar in Spain, ¿Me pones un café? is a normal, friendly way to order, and so is Ponme un café. Among Spaniards a plain request like this sounds friendly, and a request wrapped in several softeners can sound distant. Spanish in Spain explains why.
¿Me da un café?, with the usted form, is a safe choice with a stranger in Spain, Mexico and Colombia. Regalar means “to give as a gift”, but in ¿Me regala un café? the customer asks for the coffee and still pays for it. How to order coffee in Spanish has the whole exchange for four countries.
Where por favor goes
Add por favor when you want to. It is never wrong, and it goes at the end of the request or after the first words: Una mesa para dos, por favor or ¿Me pasa la sal, por favor? You hear it most with commands, as in Pase, por favor.
Say it with a calm voice. ¡Por favor! said with a sigh or a raised voice means something close to “come on” or “give me a break”. The tone changes the meaning.
Speakers also add gracias straight after the request is done, and perdone or disculpe before a request to a stranger. Disculpe, ¿me puede decir dónde está la estación? is a polished way to ask where the station is.
What to take with you
To make a request polite, use one of these:
- the usted form of a command: Pase, Espere
- a question in the present tense: ¿Me pasa la sal?
- podría for a careful request: ¿Podría ayudarme?
- quisiera or quería for what you would like: Quisiera una mesa para dos
When the English translation of a Spanish sentence says “please”, look at the verb. The politeness may be in the form of the verb, and the Spanish sentence may have no word for “please” at all.
The words in real sentences
- Pase, por favor, y siéntese aquí. Come in, please, and sit here. (usted)
- ¿Me pasas la sal? Can you pass me the salt? (tú)
- ¿Me pasa la sal, por favor? Can you pass me the salt, please? (usted)
- ¿Podrías ayudarme con esta maleta? Could you help me with this suitcase? (tú)
- ¿Me podría decir la hora? Could you tell me the time? (usted)
- Quisiera una mesa para dos, por favor. I would like a table for two, please.
- Quería una barra de pan. I wanted a loaf of bread. (Spain, said to a shop assistant)
- ¿Le importa si abro la ventana? Do you mind if I open the window? (usted)
- Ponme un café con leche. Give me a coffee with milk. (Spain)
- ¿Me regala un tinto? Can I have a black coffee? (Colombia)
Questions people ask
How do you say please in Spanish? Por favor. You can add it to any request. Many polite requests have no por favor, because the verb form, the question or quisiera already makes the request polite.
Is it rude to give an order in Spanish? A command with the usted form is polite in a shop, an office or a taxi. Among friends, and at a bar in Spain, a plain command such as Ponme un café is normal. In Mexico and Colombia people more often ask with a question such as ¿Me da…?, so a bare command there can sound abrupt.
What is the difference between podría and quisiera? Podría means “could”, and you use it to ask what someone could do for you: ¿Podría ayudarme? Quisiera means “I would like”, and you use it to say what you want: Quisiera un café.
How do I ask a stranger for help in Spanish? Start with Disculpe, then use ¿Puede…? or ¿Podría…? with a verb: Disculpe, ¿puede ayudarme? If you are not sure whether to use tú or usted, use usted.
Is quiero rude? Quiero is correct and understood. When you say it to someone serving you, it can sound abrupt, so quisiera, me gustaría or a question such as ¿Me da…? is the softer choice.
Why do people ask ¿me regala…? for a coffee? In Colombia, and in parts of Mexico, regalar has become an ordinary polite way to ask for something at a counter. The customer asks for the coffee and still pays for it.
Practise these words
favor, pasar, sal, ayudar, poner, dar, regalar, esperar, mesa, perdón, disculpar, hora. Vozelu is a free website for practising Spanish, and it has each of these. You see a sentence with one word missing, you type the word, and a native voice reads the sentence back. Practise the words on this page.