Invited to dinner in Spanish: what to bring, when to arrive and what to say
Someone has invited you to eat at their house. The Spanish is the easy part. The hard part is knowing what time to turn up, what to carry in, how long to stay at the table after the plates are empty, and how to refuse a fourth helping without offending the person who cooked it. Below is the whole evening, from the invitation to the message you send the next day, with what changes between Mexico, Spain, Colombia and Argentina.
The meals and their times
The first thing to get right is which meal you have been invited to. The names move between countries and so do the hours.
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Breakfast | el desayuno, 8 to 10 | el desayuno, light, 8 to 9 | el desayuno, 7 to 9 | el desayuno, light, 8 to 10 |
| Mid-morning | el almuerzo, a snack | el almuerzo, a snack around 11 in some regions | ||
| Main midday meal | la comida, 2 to 4 | la comida or el almuerzo, 2 to 3.30 | el almuerzo, 12 to 2, the main meal of the day | el almuerzo, 12.30 to 2 |
| Afternoon | la merienda | la merienda, around 6 | las onces or el algo, 4 to 5 | la merienda, 5 to 7, with mate and facturas |
| Evening meal | la cena, 8 to 9, light | la cena, 9.30 to 11 | la comida or la cena, 7 to 8 | la cena, 9 to 11, later in summer |
La comida is the trap. In Mexico and Spain it is the big midday meal. In Colombia it often means the evening meal. If someone says ven a comer, ask ¿a qué hora? and you will learn which one they mean.
Las onces in Colombia is the afternoon coffee and bread, and its name comes from eleven o’clock even though it happens at four or five. Chileans use the same word. Colombians also say el algo, and ¿tomamos el algo? at that hour is an invitation to that snack.
El asado is a meal and an event. A Sunday asado in Argentina starts in the early afternoon, the meat comes to the table in waves, and people are still at the table at six. Invited at nine on a Saturday, expect to eat at eleven.
What to bring
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| What can I bring? | ¿Qué llevo? | Ask. The answer is usually the dessert or the wine |
| I brought you this | Te traje esto. | Handing it over at the door |
| It’s nothing | Es un detalle. | What you say as they thank you |
| A bottle of wine | una botella de vino | |
| Dessert | el postre | |
| Flowers | unas flores |
Spain. Wine or dessert. A bottle of good wine is never wrong, and a box of pastries from a good bakery on a Sunday is the classic. Nobody expects flowers.
Mexico. Wine, dessert, or flowers for the host. If you offer to bring something, you may be told to bring the ice or the soft drinks, and that is a real answer, not a polite one.
Colombia. Wine or dessert, and flowers are appreciated. People are very pleased with something from your own country.
Argentina. For an asado, bring the wine, the ice, the dessert or a tub of ice cream. El helado is the standard contribution and there is no shame in it. Do not bring meat unless you were asked to; the asador has chosen and bought it, and the meat is his business.
What to leave at home: chrysanthemums, which are funeral flowers in Spain, Mexico and Argentina. Also skip a main course nobody asked for. A dish of your own next to the host’s cooking is awkward everywhere.
Arriving
Nobody arrives on time. How late is right depends on the country, and arriving early is worse than arriving late in all four, because the host is still in the kitchen.
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Arrive | 20 to 40 minutes after the hour given | 15 to 30 minutes after | 15 to 30 minutes after | 15 to 30 minutes after, and never early |
| Greeting | one kiss on the cheek between women, and between a woman and a man; men shake hands or embrace | two kisses, everyone | one kiss, and a handshake between men | one kiss, including between men |
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Thanks for the invitation | Gracias por la invitación. | |
| Sorry we’re late | Perdón por la demora. | Mexico, Colombia, Argentina |
| Sorry we’re late | Perdón por el retraso. | Spain |
| What a lovely house | Qué linda tu casa. (Mexico, Colombia, Argentina) / Qué bonita casa tienes. (Spain) | |
| Shall I take my shoes off? | ¿Me quito los zapatos? | The answer is almost always no |
| It smells wonderful | Huele riquísimo. | |
| Can I help with anything? | ¿Te ayudo en algo? |
Meeting the family
Expect to be walked round the room and introduced to everyone, including the grandmother in the kitchen and the child behind the sofa. Greet each person individually. If you wave at the room from the doorway, people take it as cold in all four countries.
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| This is my friend Jon | Te presento a mi amigo Jon. | |
| Nice to meet you | Mucho gusto. | Mexico, Colombia, Argentina |
| Nice to meet you | Encantado. / Encantada. | Spain, ending matches the speaker |
| Pleased to meet you | Un placer. | Formal, everywhere |
| Likewise | Igualmente. | The answer |
| I’ve heard a lot about you | Me han hablado mucho de ti. / de usted. |
In Colombia con mucho gusto is the everyday answer to gracias, and usted is the default even with people your own age. In Argentina everyone moves to vos immediately. In Spain it is tú from the first second, including with your friend’s parents. In Mexico, use usted with the parents until they tell you otherwise, and they usually will.
At the table
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Enjoy your meal | Buen provecho. / Provecho. | Said before eating, and to anyone else eating |
| It’s delicious | Está riquísimo. | Everywhere, and the safest praise on this page |
| You’ve outdone yourself | Te quedó espectacular. (Mexico, Colombia) / Te salió bárbaro. (Argentina) / Te ha quedado buenísimo. (Spain) | |
| What is this called? | ¿Cómo se llama esto? | |
| Will you give me the recipe? | ¿Me pasas la receta? | |
| How do you make it? | ¿Cómo lo haces? | |
| Cheers | Salud. | The toast, everywhere |
Buen provecho is said at the start of the meal and to strangers you pass who are eating, in Mexico, Colombia and Argentina. Spaniards say it less between friends, and more as que aproveche to people at the next table.
Asking for the recipe is a compliment in every one of these countries and the answer is usually a long one. Ask ¿Me pasas la receta? and you will get a kitchen demonstration rather than a list of quantities.
Seconds, and refusing them
You will be offered more. Refusing once is not enough, and refusing once is not rude either. The exchange has a shape.
| What the host says | What you say to accept | What you say to refuse | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mexico | ¿Le sirvo más? / Ándele, un poquito más. | Sí, poquito, por favor. | Ya no, gracias, quedé bien lleno. |
| Spain | ¿Repites? / Venga, un poco más. | Va, un poquito. | No, de verdad, no puedo más. Estaba buenísimo. |
| Colombia | ¿Le provoca más? / Sírvase más. | Bueno, un poquito. | No, muchas gracias, quedé muy lleno. |
| Argentina | ¿Querés más? / Dale, servite. | Bueno, un poquito. | No, gracias, estoy llenísimo. |
With two rules this is easy. First, praise the food while you refuse it, because the offer is about the cooking and not about your appetite. Estaba delicioso, pero ya no me cabe is all you need to say. Second, if you accept, ask for a small amount: poquito. The host will serve more than that anyway.
Le provoca is Colombian and it means “do you fancy”. You will hear it for everything: ¿le provoca un tinto? It is not a question about hunger, it is the standard way of offering.
Clearing the table
Offer. The offer is usually refused and it still counts.
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Shall I help you clear? | ¿Te ayudo a levantar la mesa? | Mexico, Colombia, Argentina |
| Shall I help you clear? | ¿Te ayudo a recoger la mesa? | Spain |
| I’ll wash up | Yo lavo los platos. | |
| Sit down, I’ll do it | Sentate, yo lo hago. | Argentina, vos |
The answer will be deja, deja or no, qué va, siéntate. Push once and then sit down. In Spain and Argentina, guests who insist on washing up are gently pushed out of the kitchen.
The sobremesa
The meal ends and nobody moves. La sobremesa is the time spent at the table after the food, with coffee, a digestif and conversation, and in Spain and Argentina it matters as much as the meal. It can run two hours. If you stand up too soon, people think you are in a hurry.
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Shall we stay a bit longer? | ¿Nos quedamos un rato más? | |
| A coffee, yes please | Un café, sí, gracias. | |
| What a nice evening | Qué linda noche. | Mexico, Colombia, Argentina |
| What a nice evening | Qué bien lo hemos pasado. | Spain |
In Colombia the sobremesa is shorter, and the word la sobremesa there also means the drink that comes with lunch, usually a fruit juice. You tell which from the context.
Leaving
Leaving takes twenty minutes and starts with an announcement that nobody acts on.
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Starting to leave | Bueno, ya nos vamos yendo. | Bueno, nos vamos a ir yendo. | Bueno, ya nos vamos. | Bueno, nos estamos yendo. |
| Thank you | Muchas gracias por todo. | Muchísimas gracias, ha estado todo buenísimo. | Muchas gracias, quedó delicioso. | Gracias por todo, estuvo bárbaro. |
| Come to ours next | Ahora les toca a ustedes venir. | La próxima en casa. | La próxima en nuestra casa. | La próxima en casa. |
| Goodbye | Que descansen. Buenas noches. | Hasta luego, un beso. | Que estén muy bien. | Chau, gracias, nos vemos. |
In Mexico the goodbye continues at the door, then in the hallway, then by the car. It is normal, it is friendly, and people think it rude if you leave abruptly instead.
The message the next day
Send one. People in all four countries do it, and it takes one line.
- Muchas gracias por anoche, la pasamos muy bien. Thank you for last night, we had a great time. (Mexico, Colombia, Argentina)
- Mil gracias por lo de anoche, lo pasamos genial. Thanks so much for last night, we had a brilliant time. (Spain)
- Y la receta no se me olvida, ¿eh? And I haven’t forgotten about the recipe.
Ten sentences you can say tomorrow
- ¿Qué llevo? ¿El postre o el vino? What shall I bring? Dessert or wine?
- Gracias por la invitación. Te traje esto, es un detalle. Thanks for having us. I brought you this, it’s nothing.
- Qué linda tu casa. Huele riquísimo. What a lovely house. It smells wonderful.
- Mucho gusto, señora. Me han hablado mucho de usted. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you. (Mexico, Colombia)
- Está riquísimo. ¿Me pasas la receta? It’s delicious. Will you give me the recipe?
- Sí, poquito, por favor. Yes, just a little, please.
- Estaba delicioso, pero ya no me cabe. It was delicious, but I couldn’t fit another bite.
- ¿Te ayudo a levantar la mesa? Shall I help you clear the table?
- Bueno, ya nos vamos yendo. La próxima en casa. Right, we should get going. Next time at ours.
- Muchas gracias por anoche, la pasamos muy bien. Thanks for last night, we had a great time.
Questions people ask
How late should I arrive? Fifteen to thirty minutes after the time you were given in Spain, Colombia and Argentina, and up to forty in Mexico. On the hour is early, and early means the host is still cooking.
Do I take my shoes off? No, in all four countries, unless you can see that everyone else has. Ask with ¿me quito los zapatos? and the answer will be no.
What is the sobremesa? The conversation at the table after the food, over coffee or a drink. It is a real part of the meal in Spain and Argentina and can last longer than the eating.
Is “la comida” lunch or dinner? Lunch in Mexico and Spain, and the main meal of the day there. In Colombia la comida often means the evening meal, and lunch is el almuerzo.
What are “las onces”? The Colombian afternoon snack, coffee or hot chocolate with bread, around four or five. The same word is used in Chile.
How do I compliment the cook? Está riquísimo during the meal and te quedó espectacular at the end. Asking for the recipe is the strongest compliment of all.
Do I bring meat to an asado? No. The asador buys and chooses the meat. Bring wine, ice or the dessert, and ask beforehand what is missing.
What do I say if I can’t eat something? Soy vegetariano or soy alérgico a los mariscos, said when you accept the invitation rather than at the table. Hosts plan the menu days ahead and would rather know.
Practise these words
cena, comida, almuerzo, merienda, sobremesa, postre, receta, rico, provecho, invitación, servir, llevar, ayudar. Vozelu is a free website for practising Spanish, and it has each of these. You see a sentence with one word missing, you type the word, and a native voice reads the sentence back. Practise the words on this page.