Breaking up in Spanish: ending a relationship, what people say, and what friends tell you in Mexico, Spain, Colombia and Argentina
Relationships end in Spanish too, and the words for it change from country to country. A Mexican says me tronó, a Spaniard me ha dejado, a Colombian me terminó, an Argentine cortamos. Below: the verbs, what people say in the conversation itself, breaking up by message, cheating, heartbreak, getting back together, and what your friends will say afterwards, for Mexico, Spain, Colombia and Argentina.
The verbs
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| We broke up | Terminamos. / Tronamos. | Lo hemos dejado. / Hemos cortado. / Rompimos. | Terminamos. | Cortamos. / Terminamos. |
| She broke up with me | Me terminó. / Me tronó. | Me ha dejado. / Ha cortado conmigo. | Me terminó. | Me cortó. / Me dejó. |
| I broke up with him | Terminé con él. / Lo troné. | Lo he dejado. / He cortado con él. | Terminé con él. | Corté con él. / Lo dejé. |
The notes:
- Terminar is understood everywhere and is the safe choice. Terminé con ella, I ended it with her. Me terminó, “she finished me”, is the everyday form in Mexico and Colombia for being broken up with.
- Tronar is Mexican slang, from “to crack” or “to snap”. Ya troné con mi novio, I’ve broken up with my boyfriend.
- Cortar is the everyday word in Spain and Argentina. Cortamos hace un mes, we broke up a month ago.
- Dejar, to leave, is understood everywhere and is the most common verb in Spain: lo hemos dejado, we’ve split up. With me dejó you say the other person left you.
- Romper con alguien is standard and a little more written. You will read it in magazines and hear it in Spain.
In Spain people use the present perfect for something recent: me ha dejado, she has left me. In the other three countries they use the simple past, me dejó, for the same news.
For married couples, separarse is to separate and divorciarse to divorce. Estamos separados is the usual way to say it.
Before the conversation
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| We need to talk | Tenemos que hablar. | As loaded in Spanish as in English |
| Can we meet? I want to talk to you in person | ¿Podemos vernos? Quiero hablar contigo en persona. / …hablar con vos… (Argentina) | |
| It’s important | Es algo importante. | |
| Are you free tonight? | ¿Estás libre esta noche? / ¿Tenés un rato esta noche? (Argentina) |
What people say
These are the lines you will say or hear in the conversation itself.
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| I don’t think this is working | Creo que esto no está funcionando. | |
| I don’t feel the same any more | Ya no siento lo mismo. | Ya no, no longer |
| I’m not in love any more | Ya no estoy enamorado / enamorada. | |
| I need time | Necesito tiempo. | |
| Let’s take a break | Démonos un tiempo. | Darse un tiempo is to go on a break |
| We want different things | Queremos cosas distintas. | |
| It’s not you, it’s me | No eres tú, soy yo. / No sos vos, soy yo. (Argentina) | A cliché in Spanish too |
| You deserve someone better | Te mereces a alguien mejor. / Te merecés… (vos) | |
| I met someone else | Conocí a otra persona. / He conocido a otra persona. (Spain) | |
| I’m moving back home | Me vuelvo a mi país. | A common reason for couples across borders |
| I care about you a lot | Te quiero mucho. | The kind form in a break-up |
| I hope we can stay friends | Ojalá podamos seguir siendo amigos. | Ojalá takes the subjunctive |
| I’m sorry it ended like this | Siento que haya terminado así. |
Te quiero is for love between partners, family and friends, and in a break-up te quiero mucho, pero… is the usual way to be kind. Te amo is stronger and more romantic, used more in Mexico, Colombia and Argentina than in Spain, where te quiero is the usual form even between partners.
What you might hear back
| You will hear | It means |
|---|---|
| ¿Por qué? | Why? |
| ¿Hay alguien más? | Is there someone else? |
| ¿Desde cuándo te sientes así? / ¿Desde cuándo te sentís así? (vos) | How long have you felt like this? |
| ¿Es por algo que hice? | Is it something I did? |
| Yo también lo pensaba. | I’d been thinking the same |
| No me lo esperaba. | I didn’t expect this |
| Lo sabía. | I knew it |
| ¿Podemos intentarlo otra vez? | Can we try again? |
| Necesito estar solo / sola. | I need to be alone |
| No me busques. / No me busqués. (vos) | Don’t contact me |
Breaking up by message
Ending a relationship by WhatsApp is widely seen as poor form in all four countries once it is more than a few dates. The polite version by message is to ask to meet. After a handful of dates, a short honest message is normal.
| You want to say | Spanish |
|---|---|
| I’d rather tell you in person | Prefiero decírtelo en persona. |
| I’ve been thinking a lot | He estado pensando mucho. / Estuve pensando mucho. (Latin America) |
| I really liked meeting you, but I don’t see this going further | Me gustó mucho conocerte, pero no veo futuro en esto. |
| I don’t want to lead you on | No quiero ilusionarte. |
| I’m not looking for anything serious | No estoy buscando nada serio. |
| Take care | Cuídate mucho. / Cuidate mucho. (vos) |
The ghosting vocabulary is shared. Me hizo ghosting and me ghosteó are used across the Spanish-speaking world. Me dejó en visto, “left me on seen”, is being left on read.
Ilusionar means to raise someone’s hopes, and estar ilusionado is to be excited about something. Desilusionar is to disappoint. None of them mean illusion in the English sense.
Cheating
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| She cheated on me | Me puso el cuerno. / Me fue infiel. | Me puso los cuernos. / Me engañó. | Me puso los cachos. / Me montó los cachos. | Me puso los cuernos. / Me metió los cuernos. |
Cuernos, horns, are the image in most of the Spanish-speaking world. In Colombia it is cachos, the same idea in another word, and a cachón is a man whose partner cheats on him. Me fue infiel and me engañó are neutral and you can use them anywhere, and es infiel, he is unfaithful, is the same in all four.
Heartbreak
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| I’m heartbroken | Tengo el corazón roto. / Estoy triste. | Estoy hecho polvo. / Estoy fatal. | Tengo tusa. / Estoy entusado / entusada. | Estoy destrozado / destrozada. / Estoy mal. |
| Songs for it | canciones de desamor | canciones de desamor | música de despecho | canciones de desamor |
Tusa is Colombia’s word for the sadness after a break-up, and estar entusado means you are in it. Despecho is heartbreak with some bitterness in it, and música de despecho is a whole genre in Colombia, played loud with aguardiente.
Ardido in Mexico is someone who is sore about losing, in love or at football. Hecho polvo in Spain, “made dust”, means worn out or devastated.
| You want to say | Spanish |
|---|---|
| I miss her | La extraño. (Latin America) / La echo de menos. (Spain) |
| I can’t stop thinking about him | No puedo dejar de pensar en él. |
| She broke my heart | Me rompió el corazón. |
| I need to move on | Tengo que pasar página. (Spain) / Tengo que dar vuelta la página. (Argentina) / Tengo que seguir adelante. |
| I’m better now | Ya estoy mejor. |
| I’m over it | Ya lo superé. |
Superar is the verb for getting over someone: ¿ya lo superaste?, are you over him yet?
Practical things
| You want to say | Spanish | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| When can I pick up my things? | ¿Cuándo paso por mis cosas? | |
| I’ll give you your things back | Te devuelvo tus cosas. | |
| Here are your keys | Aquí tienes tus llaves. / Acá tenés tus llaves. (Argentina) | |
| Who keeps the flat? | ¿Quién se queda con el piso? (Spain) / …con el departamento? (Mexico, Argentina) / …con el apartamento? (Colombia) | |
| Who keeps the dog? | ¿Quién se queda con el perro? | |
| I’m moving out | Me voy del piso. (Spain) / Me mudo. | |
| Please don’t write to me | Por favor, no me escribas. / …no me escribás. (vos) |
Getting back together
Volver is the verb. Volvimos means we got back together, and ¿volviste con ella? is did you get back with her?
| You want to say | Spanish |
|---|---|
| We got back together | Volvimos. / Hemos vuelto. (Spain) |
| Do you want to try again? | ¿Quieres que lo intentemos otra vez? / ¿Querés que lo intentemos de nuevo? (vos) |
| It’s an on-off thing | Es una relación de idas y vueltas. |
| My ex | Mi ex. |
Mi ex is the word everywhere, for both sexes: mi ex, el ex de Laura, la ex de Juan.
What your friends will say
| Mexico | Spain | Colombia | Argentina | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| That sucks | ¡Qué gacho! | ¡Qué palo! | ¡Qué embarrada! | ¡Qué garrón! |
| I’m so sorry | Lo siento mucho. | Lo siento mucho. | Lo siento mucho. / Qué pesar. | Lo siento mucho. / Qué bajón. |
| Let’s go out | Vamos por unas chelas. | Vamos a tomar algo. | Vamos a rumbear. / Vamos por unas polas. | Vamos a tomar algo. |
The sayings you will hear from every direction:
- Él se lo pierde. / Ella se lo pierde. Their loss.
- Hay más peces en el mar. There are more fish in the sea.
- Un clavo saca otro clavo. One nail drives out another. The advice to find someone new.
- Mejor sola que mal acompañada. Better alone than in bad company. Also mejor solo que mal acompañado.
- No era para ti. He wasn’t the one for you. No era para vos in Argentina.
- El tiempo lo cura todo. Time heals everything.
Culture notes
Families get involved. In Mexico and Colombia a partner of some years is part of the family, and the break-up is news at Sunday lunch. Expect to be asked ¿y qué pasó con Ana? by an aunt months later. The meeting your partner’s family post has the other side of this.
Friends take sides openly in all four countries, and they say it. A friend who calls your ex una bruja or un idiota is being loyal.
Songs are part of it. Mexico has rancheras and banda for heartbreak, Colombia has despecho, and Argentina has tango.
Ten sentences you can say tomorrow
- Tenemos que hablar. ¿Podemos vernos esta noche? We need to talk. Can we meet tonight?
- Ya no siento lo mismo, y no quiero mentirte. I don’t feel the same any more, and I don’t want to lie to you.
- Te quiero mucho, pero esto no está funcionando. I care about you, but this isn’t working.
- Terminé con mi novio la semana pasada. I broke up with my boyfriend last week.
- Ya troné con ella. I’ve broken up with her. (Mexico)
- Lo hemos dejado, pero estamos bien. We’ve split up, but we’re fine. (Spain)
- Tengo tusa. I’m heartbroken. (Colombia)
- Cortamos hace un mes y ya lo superé. We broke up a month ago and I’m over it. (Argentina)
- ¿Cuándo paso por mis cosas? When can I pick up my things?
- Ojalá podamos seguir siendo amigos. I hope we can stay friends.
Questions people ask
How do you say “break up” in Spanish? Terminar is understood everywhere: terminamos, we broke up. In Spain and Argentina people also say cortar, in Mexico tronar, and dejar is common in Spain.
What does “me terminó” mean? She (or he) broke up with me. It is the everyday form in Mexico and Colombia.
How do you say “my ex” in Spanish? Mi ex, for a man or a woman. Mi exnovio and mi exnovia are the full forms.
What is “tusa” in Colombia? The sadness after a break-up. Tener tusa or estar entusado means you are going through it.
What does “ponerle los cuernos” mean? To cheat on someone. In Colombia the same idea is ponerle los cachos.
How do you say “we’re on a break”? Nos estamos dando un tiempo. Darse un tiempo is the fixed phrase.
How do you say “I miss you” after a break-up? Te extraño in Mexico, Colombia and Argentina. Te echo de menos in Spain, where te extraño is understood but less common.
Is “te amo” or “te quiero” used in a break-up? Te quiero mucho is the kind form. Te amo is stronger, and the other person would not know what you meant.
Practise these words
terminar, cortar, dejar, romper, volver, corazón, extrañar, cuerno, querer, superar, infiel, novio, ex. Vozelu is a free website for practising Spanish, and it has each of these. You see a sentence with one word missing, you type the word, and a native voice reads the sentence back. Practise the words on this page.